


All I Want For Christmas…

by TrashcanWren



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: A Letter to Santa, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ben is exhausted, F/M, Fluff and Smut, I promise!, Just Slightly Angsty, Lets put that Solo mouth to good use, Premie Baby Annie, Rey teaches Pre-School, Single Parent Ben Solo, Whoops! How did that get in there?, Zero filters!, so many feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-24 16:02:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21900661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrashcanWren/pseuds/TrashcanWren
Summary: Single-dad Ben Solo writes a letter to Santa that he never should have.Or, how Rey Niima finds outexactlywhat Annie's dad wants for Christmas.A Reylo prompts fic for the Star Wars Advent Calendar 2019.
Relationships: Ben Solo/Rey, Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 138
Kudos: 608
Collections: Reylo Prompt Fills (@reylo_prompts), The Thirst Order - TWD House Swolo





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Semperfidani](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Semperfidani/gifts).



> Dani - thank you for pulling this collection together, you absolutely rock! 💙
> 
> The prompt, you ask? A little something from Reylo_prompts on Twitter:  
> “Primary school teacher Rey organizes an event where her students and their parents write Santa letters. Tired and distracted single dad Ben writes in his letter that his Christmas wish is to give pretty Miss Rey head. He doesn't expect her to read ALL the letters.” ;)

_Dear Santa,_

_All I want for Christmas is…_

_I want to give Annie the kind of Christmas she says she wants, the kind she'll remember and want to have happen again. With chocolate angels and the snow and carols and a big tree and a fire and presents and..._

_… and maybe Ms. Rey to complete that picture. With that pretty smile and those bright eyes. I think we'd both love that. We'll have popcorn and big mugs of cocoa in front of the fire and watch as Annie plays with her presents. And maybe, after, I'll get to taste the cocoa and popcorn on Ms. Rey. And maybe, she'll let me taste her, as well. I think that's what I really want for Christmas - I want to taste her, every inch of her, but especially down there. And I want to make her come on my face. And I want to hear her call my name as she does. And know that maybe there's someone who wants me as much as I want her. Wants us as much as we want her._

_Jesus, what the hell am I writing?! Yeah, not what I should be doing but why the fuck can't I stop? God, someone please make me stop. Maybe I'll just throw this one away and write her another letter. It's not like she'll read every one of them and it's kind of nice to just sit here and write this down. Just, words in the wet sand, waiting for the waves to wash the writing away._

_God, I'm so tired, I just want to put my head down and sleep. But I can't. I have to get Annie home and fed and in the bath and then play with her till she's ready for bed._

_Oh. And I have to write Santa another letter._

  
...

Rey stared and stared at the letter she held, a trembling hand pressed to her mouth as she reread the words, scrawled in pencil in a bold, uneven hand across the pink snowflakes patterning the sheet of notepaper.

She could picture him, now, sitting hunched over at the tables meant for little people easily a quarter of his size or less, but without complaint, as he followed Rey's instructions for parent and child to each write her a letter that she could mail to Santa on their behalf. It was something she did with every class she had, a little Christmas tradition that even the non-religious and non-Christian families did not object to since it got their children willingly writing letters. 

Rey remembered seeing Annie sitting on her own, at that back table, while the papers and pencils and crayons were being handed out. Before she could ask, the door to her classroom had banged open and a flustered-looking Ben Solo had rushed in. He'd softly called an apology out to her as he'd edged around the room before dropping in a snow-dampened heap by his daughter.

As always, her heart had twanged at the sight of the bear of a man gently encouraging Annie to write down her Christmas wish, solemnly promising her that Ms. Rey would make sure the letter would get to Santa and Mrs. Claus safely. As she’d made her way around to all the tables, sharing a smile here, helping a child properly grip a crayon there, Rey had remained very aware of Ben Solo sitting in the back of her classroom, alternating between helping his daughter and staring blankly at his own sheet of paper.

When she’d come back in, after having nipped out to grab the trays of cookies she’d prepped to be shared around, her eyes had strayed to the dark, shaggy head that was now bent closely over whatever he had been furiously writing. 

At the time, she’d wondered what he was asking Santa for Christmas, unable to help the little pang that had run through her.

From the first moment that she’d laid eyes on Ben Solo, clutching Annie’s hand in his while desperation edged his eyes, Rey had felt her ability to maintain a professional distance slipping. He had looked so lost, and so fierce, all at the same time. A single father, they’d all learned, as he went through the process of getting his little girl enrolled in a new school. He was trying to deal with not only parenting on his own but also with the learning and development delays that came with Annie having been born seven and a half weeks too early. Almost three years into bringing up the baby, his wife had left him, for reasons that no-one at the school knew, but could probably guess at. 

It never failed to bring a lump to Rey’s throat as she wondered why someone would leave a darling little child like Annie, much less a husband who seemed to be nothing but a gentle, sweet, understanding man if one who was completely harried and worked off his feet. She could see how Ben went above and beyond, having gone so far as to change jobs and relocate to be closer to the school and the therapists who could help his daughter. She only had a vague idea of what he did—some sort of data analyst?—but it let him manage to bring Annie to school and pick her up himself in the evenings, even if he did skid in a few minutes after the pickup time, every day. It was as clear as daylight that Annie adored her father, loved being hoisted on his broad shoulders as he jockeyed her to school and back. Rey found herself watching for the sight of the little girl perched up high, clutching at his hair or his ears, a wide toothy grin splitting her face. 

Rey saw the ways Ben tried, triumphant at some times and not so much the others, but trying nonetheless to be the best-damned mom and dad he could be to the little girl. The wonky braids—the man did braids!—the little ‘i heart u’ notes in her backpack, the sloppy lunches. Oh, those lunches…

...

_‘Mr.Solo? Could I speak with you for a quick moment, please?’ Rey had asked him, the evening after she’d found the chips and cookies and chocolate in Annie’s lunch sack for the third time, motioning him into her classroom._

_‘Uhh, sure?’ She hated that his eyes took on a haunted look like he was afraid of being told whatever else it was he was doing wrong. Nonetheless, he settled Annie in a chair, pulling a book out of her backpack for her and murmuring quietly to her before unfolding himself and walking over._

_Rey couldn’t help taking in his leanly muscled length as he stalked up to where she was standing propped against her desk. Not for the first time Rey wondered why the man walked with such a wide-legged gait, before admonishing herself for the first thought that popped up in response. That was hardly appropriate!_

_Shaking herself out of the wisps of not-quite-daydreams that tended to surface around Ben Solo, Rey turned to the task at hand._

_‘Mr. Solo, about Ann-’_

_‘Please, call me Ben,’ he interrupted her with a raised hand and a grimace, before shoving the hand through his hair. ‘Mr. Solo was my father.’_

_‘Of course… Ben, I wanted to talk to you about Annie’s lunches. What she had today, this week? That’s not something I would recommend for a growing child.’_

_With a sigh, his shoulders slumping in defeat, Ben scrubbed a hand over his face before turning to look at his daughter, who was happily flipping the pages of her book._

_‘I… know, I know. It’s just, I’ve been having a hard time getting her to eat anything and at least this stuff, it goes in, you know?’ he gestured helplessly._

_‘May I ask, what does she not like to eat?’_

_He threw up his hands, shaking his head as he seemed to mentally catalogue a list. ‘This week? Anything cooked, anything that’s even slightly damp or sticky to hold. Last week, she was happily picking pasta tubes out of the sauce!’_

_Rey frowned in thought for a moment before asking, ‘Have you tried fruit pieces or vegetable sticks? Like carrots or celery or cucumber? Halved oranges? Maybe grapes?"_

_He looked at her with wide eyes, like she was a revelation to him, while mutely shaking his head. ‘That… I can't believe I didn't think of that." He cast a despairing glance back at his daughter, only turning back with a jolt when Rey broke with protocol and laid a hand on his arm._

_It had only been meant to comfort him, to assure him that he wasn’t failing, but Rey could think of no words as they both stared at her hand on his bare arm, a tingling running through her fingers at the contact. When their eyes lifted to find each other again, there was a split second that their gazes caught, neither of them looking in the least bit professional or detached._

_Then, Rey was recalled to herself and she drew back, praying she didn't blush and betray anything. As her hand slid from him, though, he snagged her fingers, wrapping his around them. Startled she looked up at him._

_"Thank you, Ms.Rey, for everything you're trying to do for Annie, for us. I really appreciate you taking the time," he said, earnestly._

_Unable to help herself, Rey smiled, giving his fingers a little squeeze. "No thanks necessary, I’m happy to do anything for you." When his eyes widened, she realized what she'd said._

_"Both!" She blurted, quickly, "for you both."_

_This time, there was no saving her from reddened cheeks, a state that Ben seemed to share as he cleared his throat and let her hand go. Then, having hoisted Annie in his arms, he gave her a little nod and they were both gone, leaving Rey to stare around her empty classroom and wonder what had just happened._

_..._

What had happened was Rey had inexorably fallen—hook, line and sinker—for both father and daughter, the two of them burrowing their way into her till she couldn't get through a single day without them on her mind. If she was honest, she thought far more about Ben than she did about Annie. And it wasn't even nice, teacher-like thoughts she had, though there had been that one dream she'd woken up all hot and bothered from, the one involving her desk and a whole lot of bending over. As she gasped and lay there flushed, she couldn't help but remember the ghost of his touch. All he'd done was hold her fingers and she was going off like a firework. 

_What would happen if he ever touched her anywhere else._

Looking down at the letter she held, for a wild, _wild_ second Rey thought she might be able to find out, see in his words the same desperation that she daily fought not to give shape to. 

Then, her eyes widened as she looked again at the letter and over to the file she was compiling, of all the student and parent letters. Letters that would then go into the students' files as they finished the term with her. 

Rey couldn't let this letter go in there - for all their sakes. And yet, she didn't want to mark Annie's assignment incomplete or make it seem like her parents had never shown up to participate. That might actually be worse.

Making up her mind, Rey quickly pulled the student information file over and flipped to Annie’s page and dialed the number listed for Ben Solo. She’d just ask him to write a fresh letter, say that they’d lost his or something of the sort. As the phone rang and rang, she lightly ran her finger over the number - she’d been so tempted, so many times, to pull it up and call him. However, she’d always reined herself in. Rey may have let her emotions, and imagination, get the better of her where he and Annie were concerned, but she refused to be any more unprofessional than she’d already been. She had to think of Annie first.

Just as she was about to disconnect, telling herself he must be in a meeting or something, and she’d just leave a message, or send an email, he picked up the call.

The breathless, and slightly panicked, _‘Hello?’_ stole the air from her lungs, rendering Rey speechless as she gaped in silence, unable to remember one word of what she was going to say. _How could just the sound of his voice leave her in this state?_

When he repeated himself, she quickly snapped to attention. 

“Yes, hello! This is Rey Niima from Annie’s school. Sorry, the phone slipped from my hand!” She blushed at the lie, thankful he couldn’t see her.

“Is Annie okay? Is everything okay?” The panic was now rampant in his voice, making her stomach twist with guilt. While she’d been lusting after his voice, the poor man was in a state about his daughter. After all, it wasn’t every day that he got a call from the school.

“Annie’s fine, she’s okay. I’m calling about the Letter to Santa assignment?” Here her forward pace faltered as she recalled the words he’d written. “Could you come in a little earlier this afternoon, please? I needed to talk to you about it.” 

From the absolute silence that greeted her words, Rey wondered if he’d realized that he hadn't indeed switched his letter for a more innocuous one like he’d evidently intended to. 

Finally, he answered, an oddly choked quality to his voice, “Uh, sure... will 3:30 work?”

Thinking quickly, Rey nodded as she agreed and then hung up. That would work just fine.

...

Ben stared at the phone in his hand, a cold tendril of worry curling through him. _What did she need to talk to him about? It had been a straight forward letter-_

_He hadn’t-_

_Had he?_

Dropping the phone like a hot potato, Ben frantically ran his hands through his hair trying to think, trying to _remember_. Where had he stuck that letter he hadn’t quite been able to tear up and throw away? Like he should have.

With single-minded intent, he tore through the papers on his desk, and in his bag, before pausing. A flash of memory came to him, of him folding a sheet of patterned notepaper over and over into a tiny, fat square and shoving it into his pocket. Looking down at himself, he realized he was wearing the same pair of jeans as he had been that day - or so he thought he was. Sending up a little prayer he stuck his hand in and breathed a sigh of relief as it closed around the little knob of paper. 

Quickly withdrawing it, he made to throw it away, when something stopped him, a little nagging doubt. Slowly, he opened the multitude of folds, his heart pounding harder with each flip of the paper until he had it open in his hands. For a long moment, it felt like all the air had been sucked out of his lungs and his ears rang with the force of his heartbeat. Ben ran disbelieving eyes over the letter in his hands, desperately searching for and failing to find the words he’d been sure were on there. 

_It was the wrong letter._

_He’d taken away the wrong fucking letter._

His knees suddenly gave way as the impact of what had happened hit him, and he dropped heavily into his chair. The innocuous letter to Santa fell from his nerveless fingers as he realized exactly what it was that Annie’s teacher had called him in to talk about.

With a groan, he covered his face as he remembered what he’d written that fateful day, drunken with tiredness and lack of sleep, his mental filter shot to bits and his composure further threatened by the presence of the woman who invaded his every waking thought. Sleeping too, probably, only he was usually too dead to the world to remember his dreams when he finally did fall asleep. A dangerous state for someone with a small child, certainly, but he had no other choice.

There just weren’t enough hours in a day to take care of Annie, get his work done, take care of their meals and laundry and cleaning _and_ get a decent night’s sleep. Maybe once she was old enough— _or when people could actually comprehend what she was trying to say, or her exuberance didn't scare them into thinking there was something wrong with her—_ that he could leave her at daycare, or have someone babysit while he grabbed a nap… now, _there_ was a dream.

But all that would have to wait. For now, he needed to figure a way out of this mess.

At this point, he was fairly certain that Rey had read his highly inappropriate letter to Santa - with his luck, there was no way that she had not. His biggest fear was not even that she would be repulsed by it, or think that he was a creep of the first order. No, the thought that shot trepidation through him was wondering what it would mean for Annie.

He could not allow his mindless fantasizing and his impossible crush on Annie’s teacher to come in the way of her getting the best at school. Not that he in any way regretted ever falling for Rey - she had burst upon the grey of his existence like a literal ray of sunshine. Her kindness, her warmth, her twinkling smile - all balm to his wounded and lonely soul. It was only when talking to her, working with her on Annie’s progress, that he didn’t feel like an absolute failure, he didn’t feel like he was all alone in his struggles to maintain equilibrium.

For the past two years, whether she realized it or not, Rey had been a rock for both him and his daughter, coming into their lives just at the point that he had been floundering the most. Between the devastation of waking up one morning and finding out that he and Annie had been left behind, like unwanted garbage, and the mind-numbing fear that he would screw something up for his little girl, Ben had never felt so lost, so alone in all his life. It had only been the joy of seeing Annie smile, and laugh, that got him through his days, and helped him put one foot in front of the other and keep going even when he wanted to drop.

That, and the gentle encouragement, the whole-hearted affection for Annie, that Rey had shown from their very first day at pre-school. Watching her have a conversation with his daughter, the ease with which he both seemed to understand and be understood, it had felt like the fog parting around him to show him a way forward. It wasn’t just how she was with Annie, but also the shy way in which she had smiled at him, the way she always seemed happy to see him, and then of course, the spark that had jumped between them that one time when she’d touched him. It made him feel more alive in a second than he had in years, even before Annie, if he was being honest with himself. So with each day, each interaction with Rey, Ben just fell harder and deeper for her. Convincing himself that it was just an infatuation, he tried his hardest to be courteous and professional with Rey. That is until all hell had broken loose - his kingdom lost for a pencil and a sheet of snowflake-patterned paper. 

Squaring his shoulders, Ben straightened grimly. He would just have to face the music and hopefully avert any fallout where Annie was concerned. Whatever it took.

…


	2. Chapter 2

By the time 3:30 p.m came around, Rey was a nervous mess. She had nothing to be nervous about, _she'd_ done nothing wrong—not that Ben was wrong, per se—but that didn't stop her palms from getting sweaty and her insides from knotting like the handiwork of a sailor.

She needlessly rearranged the papers on her desk, fingers flitting out to touch the fresh stack of notepaper, the pencils she'd set out in readiness for Ben, trying not to think about the _original_ letter, now tucked away in a corner of her purse, tightly folded. She couldn't quite find it in her to throw it away. It was like a talisman for her to hold on to - something to remind her that the words she read were _real_ , and not a figment of her fevered and overactive imagination, especially where it came to Ben Solo. It was startlingly close to what her own dreams of him were, when she let herself indulge in them. _Could it possibly be that he wanted her at least a little like she wanted him?_

Before she could unpack that thought, there was a soft knock at the classroom door. Hurrying over, Rey smoothed her hands down her sides, straightened her skirt and wiped at her dampened palms.

Fixing an even smile on her face, she opened the door to see a very nervous-looking Ben Solo hovering in hallway. Stepping back she motioned for him to enter. His eyes tracked past her, taking in the empty classroom before turning to her in question. 

"They're in practice for the Christmas pageant, the other class teacher has them." She explained the children's absence as she led him back to the desk and waited for him to sit down before moving behind it to her own seat.

His knee was jigging incessantly and he seemed not to know what to do with his hands, before settling them on his thighs, wiping back and forth. The motion drew her eye, and somehow the sight of his nervousness just seemed to settle her own, making her want to soothe him instead of indulging herself.

“Mr. Solo, I-”

“What did you-”

They both spoke and stopped at the same time, before he swallowed, hard, and motioned for her to proceed. “After you.”

Ignoring the sudden curl of nervousness in her belly, Rey smoothed her features and reached over to pull the sheet of notepaper she had kept at the ready. 

“Mr. Solo-” she began again, only to cut off when he raised a hand.

“Please, call me Ben,” he reminded her, yet again.

“Ben,” she acquiesced, sliding the notepaper towards him and setting a pencil atop it, “I need to ask you to write me another letter to Santa for the assignment. I’m afraid that I can’t file Annie’s letter alone.”

She paused, watching his reaction. Rey thought she’d glossed over the matter quite easily - focus on getting a fresh letter, no need to discuss the original, all neatly done.

Except…

Except, he was staring at her with an expression she couldn’t quite decipher. One that was caught somewhere between disbelief and something she couldn’t quite put a name to.

Her eyes found his, before sliding away from the intensity in them. 

_...wants us as much as we want her._

The words rose unbidden in her mind, and she could just _see_ them written in his slashing handwriting. This time, there was no keeping the flush from creeping up her neck and warming her cheeks.

“Why?”

Blinking, Rey looked up, taken aback by the question. _Surely…_

“What?” she asked him, blankly.

“Why do you need another letter?” 

…

  
  


With horror, Ben heard his voice asking the question, and watched as Rey’s eyes zipped back to him.

_Why was he asking her? Why wasn’t he just quietly writing her out another letter like she wanted?_

Yet, when he’d seen her blushing, Ben had known with uncanny certainty that she had read the letter. She had to know what was on there and still she was letting him off easy. 

“I… well,” she stuttered, evidently not expecting him to have questioned her. He shouldn’t have, he should have just taken the out she’d given him. 

But something in him was clamouring, rattling the cages and insisting that he not let it go. Something in him was pushing him to take the chance, as risky as it was. Ben leaned forward, resting an arm on the desk as he searched her face.

He didn’t miss the way her fingers twisted in each other, before she took a deep breath and spoke, still not meeting his eyes, “I, um… I, uh, read the letter you wrote. I didn’t think you had intended for it to reach me.”

For a long moment her words hung in the air between them, and Ben almost forgot how to breathe. He tried to read her, but Rey was not looking up at him, her hands taking all her attention. His eyes drifted down to her slender fingers, and watched as they twitched nervously. _What he wouldn’t give to have them touch him…_

Then, he shook off his madness, as he realized with a sinking heart that he’d just managed to embarrass her, when she’d been trying to go easy on him.

“I’m sorry,” he blurted, shaking his head, “I should never have… I didn’t mean to… I..”

Stopping his blabbering, he drew a deep breath and looked up at her, hoping he was able to keep his misery from showing, “That was inappropriate, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you. Please… this was _my_ mistake, don’t let it affect Annie. I could never forgive myself if I screwed things up for her. Just, please, tear it up and throw it away. I’ll write you a fresh letter like you asked.”

The minutes seem to tick by, the thudding of his heart sounding louder in his ears as he waited for her to respond.

“I… can’t tear it up,” she finally said in a low voice, making him drop his head and squeeze his eyes closed.

_This was it, this was when she told him that she’d need to report him or something worse._

The pounding in his head grew worse, and he could feel a churn of nausea begin to take hold. 

_Stupid, he was so stupid! How could he forget what was at stake here! He-_

His mental chittering screeched to a halt when he felt a gentle touch on his hand, the warmth of her fingers as she laid them over his. Raising his head he saw her looking at him, her eyes shy but steady.

“It’s a beautiful letter, Ben, I can’t throw it away. I… I’d never let anything happen to Annie, don’t be afraid.” She gave his fingers a little squeeze, as though her hand on his wasn’t reassurance enough, before her eyes fell again and a faint blush crept back into her cheeks. “And, I… I feel it too. What you wrote.”

He stared at her incredulously, mute and unable to believe his ears. 

Ben saw the very second that her expression changed, probably thinking that she’d made a mistake putting herself out there. Her smile faltered, and the warmth began to fade from her eyes as she looked away. She began to lift her hand, the movement breaking him of his paralysis. Quickly twisting his hand over, he grabbed hers, startling her into whipping her head back around to him. 

“Do you really mean that?” He knew he sounded desperate, crazed even, but he didn’t care. 

She looked down at their hands, before biting her lip and nodding. “I do, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about… _everything_ you wrote.” Her cheeks reddened furiously, making him tighten his hold on her and draw her hand closer. 

“And what did you think?” His thumb swept soothingly over her fingers, coaxing her to keep talking.

Now it was her turn to swallow nervously, her eyes flitting up to his before skittering away. Ben reached forward and nudged a finger under her chin, drawing her face back towards him. “Tell me, Rey,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper as his eyes caught and held hers, letting her see everything he’d ever wanted her to know, shuttering nothing away.

Her eyes widened as she took him in and then she was leaning into his hand, her voice as soft as his in response, “It’s everything I’ve ever wanted.”

“All of it?”

“Every bit of it.”

The thrill of joy that ran through him was overwhelming. _She wanted him, she wanted them!_

Surging up, he leaned over the desk and bent to her, cradling her face in his hand. Just as his lips were about to crash into Rey’s, her hand over his mouth stopped him. Ben stilled, frozen in place as he stared at her. _Had he misread her?_

“Ben, I’m sorry, we _can’t_ …” He could see the sadness in her face, but couldn’t understand why it was there. 

As though she’d read the question in his eyes, she explained, “It’s school policy. I can’t get involved with a parent.”

…

In the end, they'd agreed that it was for the best, even as their eyes drank the other in. It was what was best for Annie, they needed to think of her above all else. 

It wouldn't be forever, after all, she reminded him, unable to bear the wounded look on his face as he'd stepped back. Annie moved to another class at the end of the school year, and Rey would no longer be her teacher.

Ben had subsided, quiet for a long moment before sitting down, pulling the sheet of notepaper towards him and writing her out the letter she needed.

When he folded it and handed it to her, his fingers tightened on it, pulling the letter and her towards himself for the scantest second before letting go. His eyes were intent as they bore into hers. "At the end of the year, then."

Rey had never felt this mix of exhilaration and nervousness before and it was making her both giddy and nauseous at the same time. To be able to see the shape of a future that included Ben Solo, as solid and clear as him as he stood in front of her - it was beyond anything she'd ever let herself believe was possible. 

Now, with his eyes making the same promises to her that she was sure hers were to him, Rey could believe it.

She nodded, biting her lip to contain the smile breaking across her face. Ben raised his hand to lightly caress her cheek, his own smile rising in response. 

As the sounds of the children in the corridor broke into their private bubble, Ben backed away towards the door, not once taking his eyes off of her, stealing away her ability to do anything but stand there and grin inanely at him. 

When his hand wrapped around the doorknob, she broke from her position and called out to him, "Ben! Merry Christmas!"

His eyes softened and he dipped his head. "Merry Christmas, to you as well, Rey. I'll be seeing you."

Then, dropping her an uncharacteristic wink, he was gone in a flash of dimples. 

A little laugh burst from Rey as she hugged herself. This was _not_ where she'd expected the afternoon to go, not by far.

As the children filtered in to collect their bags, chattering excitedly, Rey bit her cheek to keep from smiling too widely. 

_I'll be seeing you, too._

…

See him she did, everyday for the entire next term, every morning and every evening, when Ben brought Annie to school and then picked her up. His quiet smiles now held new meaning, and felt like a private little message just for her. Unlike before, though, now his eyes would dip briefly to linger on her lips, with a weight that she felt as though it were real and her tongue would dart out in response, to dampen lips rendered suddenly dry. His smile would deepen into a brief grin, making him look for all the world like a little boy sitting on a secret. And then he'd be gone, leaving her to smile foolishly at herself.

The end of term could not come fast enough, but she wouldn't have given up this period of lingering looks, that held the promise of more to come, for the world.

…

When the end of term did finally arrive, for Rey it was with a rush of completing courseware and the children's assignments and photographs and a horde of administrative paperwork for all the children moving up and out to the next class. Including Annie. For more reasons than just the selfish, Rey felt her heart lighten at being able to write out an assessment of skills and capabilities that very firmly placed Annie on the scale trending northwards. For a child who had come in with the challenges she had, it was a testimony to everyone's hard work and Annie's own intelligence to see her integrating near-seemlessly with the rest of her class. 

Rey looked up, as a shriek of familiar laughter caught her attention and she saw Annie barrelling into the empty classroom with one of her friends on her tail. Since it was the last day of school, the children had the run of the place for their last afternoon of play before they were sent home. Smiling fondly, she watched them chase each other around the chairs before screeching to a halt by her desk, panting like little terriers. Schooling her features, Rey raised an eyebrow and looked solemnly at the little boy and girl in front of her, waiting for whatever it was they were there to say.

"Ms. Rey! We're rocket ships!" Ihsaan exclaimed, as he stuck his arms out and mimed swooping wings.

"Is that so?" Rey's voice was appropriately filled with wonder and her eyes widened to take his wings in.

Annie nodded firmly, before giving Rey a gap-toothed smile that made her heart twist. "Yesh, Mish Rey! We fwying, we wockets!" 

Having delivered their important announcement, both children bounced in place for a moment before belting out of the room, still flying on the wings of imagination.

Chuckling to herself, Rey bent her head once more to her task, determined to get through it all with enough time to straighten herself up and be outside before the parents started trickling in to pick up their charges. She could finally let herself admit that the unfurling excitement in her was all for the prospect of seeing Ben Solo again. Only this time would be very different from all the others because this time, Rey would no longer be Annie's teacher, not in technical terms at least. She could, _they_ could, finally explore what they both now knew lay between them. 

With an excited wiggle of her shoulders, Rey put away the last of her paperwork, unable to restrain the anticipation that was pulling at her, smiling at the thought of _possibilities_.

"All set?" 

Started, Rey looked up to see Maz sticking her head in the door, a knowing smirk on her face. The older kindergarten teacher had been with the school for eons, and had helped Rey take her first steps into working with children, especially those who needed that little extra bit of attention. 

"Yes! Just about done!" She beamed in response as she rose from behind the desk, dusting her hands off and tugging at her blouse and skirt to straighten them.

"Good. It's about time, and I can't take the tension any longer." 

Rey paused, frowning as she put her head on the side. "Tension?"

"You and that Solo boy eye-fucking each other. About time someone got some!" Maz snorted, grinning as Rey reddened and clapped a hand to her mouth.

"Maz!" Rey exclaimed, before quickly looking past the older woman, praying no one else had been around to hear what she said.

"Relax, it's not like it's some big secret."

As Rey gaped at her in horror, Maz chuckled, coming in and patting her on the arm. "Rey, we've been waiting to see when either of you would wake up and make a move. By the look of things, it's out in the open now?" She ended on a questioning note.

"Um," Rey ducked her head and shoved a lock of hair behind her ear, "not exactly… I mean, he said… and I…" she stuttered uselessly before petering off.

Patient as ever, Maz peered up at her from behind thick glasses. "Does he know how you feel?"

There was no point in being surprised any longer, she was apparently an open book for the entire school to read. Rey nodded, biting her lip.

"And does he feel the same way?"

Again Rey nodded, unable to hold back a shy smile at the thought as the words from his much-read letter flitted through her mind. 

"Good," Maz sounded satisfied and smug as she gave Rey a quiet smile, "Then grab your things and get out there. The boy got here ten minutes ago and is hanging about looking mildly lost."

Her smile exploded into a full-blown laugh as Rey gave her a startled look and bolted from the classroom.

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick note since there are many different schooling systems. For the purposes of this story, the third and final term of the school year ends on 31st March. So Ben and Rey had to wait just over three months. 
> 
> They can do that, right? 
> 
> *ducks*
> 
>  **25.Feb A/N:**  
>  Y'all, am so sorry to keep you waiting on what happens next, but Life has been kicking me in the metaphorical nuts and I haven't had a moment to write. Whatever has been posted was pre-written, so am sure there's a lesson in there for me, somewhere 😉 
> 
> I'll see you soonly🤞🏼and thank you for reading! MTFBWY
> 
> 25.Oct.20: Hey, thank you so much for reading and I just wanted to say, I fully intend to finish writing this fic and all my others. 2020 has been spectacular in turning our world on its head, and I hope to get back to writing soon. 💙


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's taken me forever and a day to get back to writing and to finish this story and I have to thank every friend who stuck with me through this rollercoaster of a year— you know who you are and I love you guys 💙
> 
> I hope this story brings a little bit of cheer and light to your day. 
> 
> Merry Christmas!

There's a deliciousness to anticipation, to the stretching of tension built over time, stoked by the exchange of glances, the unspoken promise of touch. There's a tightening in the very air, an electrification of every nerve, a suffusion of energy in every atom while an unheard crescendo builds to inevitability.

They moved around each other like planets in orbit, a shared gravity pulling at them as they navigated the narrow length of Ben's kitchen. Rey followed Annie's bright chatter and excited instructions even as every fibre was hyperfocused on the large, oddly-graceful man cooking dinner for his daughter and her pre-school teacher.

...

_I'll be seeing you._

Innocuous words that had held the weight of promise when Ben had said them to her what seemed like a lifetime ago. They had kept her going through the term— the oxygen that had fed her every day— but when she’d burst out of the doors of the building, eyes tracking inexorably to Ben's form fidgeting at the base of the school steps as he needlessly adjusted Annie's bag, they stole the breath from her lungs. 

Ben's eyes found hers and held as she moved towards him, smiling and greeting the other parents on autopilot while the only parent she had any interest in straightened and clamped a hand on his daughter's shoulder. As Rey crossed the last distance between then, Annie turned to see her and broke away to come throw her arms around her teacher's legs, grinning toothily up at her. "Mish Rey! We get eyeshceem... peesh come!"

Smoothing a hand over Annie's hair, she raised an amused eyebrow at a reddening Ben, who cleared his throat and gently drew his charge back. "I— uh, may have been asking Annie if she would like to— um, invite you for some ice cream. To uh— celebrate."

"Celebrate?" Her lips twitched in an effort to suppress her smile even as she melted at his evident nervousness.

She must not have done a very good job for he was narrowing his eyes at her, the nervous air falling away to be replaced by something darker as a slow smile crept across his face. "Celebrate."

...

Ice cream to celebrate ended up being a meandering walk through the park, watching Annie run ahead of them as they sauntered, their hands swinging, sometimes brushing against each other, as they both tried to act like this was a casual, everyday happening. Rey could barely focus on the turns of conversation, her attention split between the deliciousness of every slight contact with his hands and the sound of his voice— a honey-brushed rumble that she felt in her very bones. Still, her eyes tracked Annie as the little girl skipped and bounced as they made their way towards the promised treat. 

Rey wrapped her arms around her waist and watched as Ben bent and pointed along in Annie’s excited wake as she examined the ice cream choices on offer before solemnly nodding when they reached a compact. When his eyes flicked to her in question, she shrugged and smiled, not really caring what he picked out for her. They settled on a bench by the water, ostensibly to watch ducks but really to make sure Annie didn’t drop her ice cream while she messily ate, her excitement at having Rey with them manifesting in unending chatter. 

When another excited bounce tipped the icy treat towards the ground both Rey and Ben lunged to catch it, their hands tangling in each other instead. For a fraction of eternity they stared at each other before she quickly withdrew, blushing furiously at what was hardly more than an innocent touch in public, trying to bring her racing pulse under control while Ben quietly offered his own ice cream to Annie.

This time, as they walked back to the car, his hand brushed hers once, twice, before he was taking her hand in his, linking their fingers without a word. Rey couldn’t stop the grin that crept across her face, any more than he could the redness tingeing the ears peeking through his hair.

…

As dinner wound into curling up on the sofa after dinner to watch Annie play with her toys on the carpet in front of them, Rey found herself relaxing and at her ease. Their conversation wound all over the place, touching on everything and nothing while an undercurrent of shared knowledge throbbed between them. The tension wound tighter with every tick of the clock as it got closer to Annie’s bedtime—more relaxed now since school was out, but a respectable hour nonetheless. 

When playtime was more and more frequently interrupted by gaping yawns, Ben gently suggested that Annie may want to take a bath and get into her ‘jammies. Nodding, rubbing at her eyes, the little girl looked at Rey and smiled. “You gimme bath,” she announced, both imperious and undeniable at the same time. Her heart melting, Rey brushed away Ben’s attempts at an apology and quickly agreed.

And so she found herself kneeling by the bathtub and soaping down a sleepy toddler who kept insisting on ‘more bubbesh’ till her father sternly said enough was enough. Finally, wrapped in a towel, Annie let herself be carried to her room. Peering in from the doorway, Rey marvelled at the unconscious ease with which Ben handled Annie, bundling her into her pyjamas before tucking her into bed. 

Leaving them to their nightly routine, Rey made her way back down and stood at the foot of the stairs, suddenly feeling uncertain. Then, shaking herself of the mood, she went around picking up a discarded tissue Annie had used and collected the empty cups from the coffee they’d had earlier, and took them into the kitchen. She washed them out and set them on the board to drain. When she turned around it was to see Ben leaning against the door jamb, quietly watching her.

Time seemed to come to a standstill as they stared at each other, finally alone, just the two of them after months of waiting. Somehow, their feet found their way towards each other, falling into each other’s gravitational pull till Rey found herself toe-to-toe with Ben, head tipped back as she held his eyes. She watched as a flush bloomed across his cheeks, reddening them and painting the tips of his ears, making her smile a little in amusement.

“Hi,” she whispered, suddenly feeling as nervous as though she hadn’t been thinking of this moment for months. 

“Hi,” he answered in an equally low tone, a little bubble of awareness enclosing just the two of them. He tipped his head towards the living room, asking her a silent question. 

Nodding, she stepped past him and made her way to the couch, settling down at one end of it and watching as he followed in her wake, suddenly seeming much larger and broader than he ever had before, his shoulders seeming to blot out the light from the fixtures overhead. Her eyes widened, convinced it was just an illusion of her mind, before crinkling in another smile as he spotted and bent to pick up one of Annie’s toys, setting it aside on the coffee table before sitting down opposite her. The length of the couch between them seemed interminable and Rey wished she hadn’t sat so far away. She was suddenly impatient, knowing they probably needed to talk, but not wanting to waste one moment more before she could touch him, not after having waited for oh so long. Getting up, she moved closer, settling down with only a handspan between them, watching him as she did.

She felt a little thrill at how his Adam's apple bobbed when he swallowed at her proximity. She watched as her hand lifted to lightly touch his neck, fingers smoothing over the bump in his throat that bobbed under her touch. Her eyes drifted back up to his to see them looking back at her intently, a banked heat flickering in them. A heat she wanted to see in full force; she had waited long enough for it.

It was unclear who moved first but suddenly they were pressed against each other, her hands threaded through his hair, his hand cupping her face as he kissed her. For a first kiss it was desperate with their longing, teeth clacking, lips pressing and pushing and tongues warring. She fell backwards, bringing him with her. As his weight pushed her down into the cushions she had a moment to draw a shuddering breath against his lips before pressing herself closer, her fingers pulling and twisting in his crisp hair. When he pulled away, she let her hands drop, eyes wide as she was suddenly struck by a pang of uncertainty. 

_Had she gone in too hard? Been too aggressive?_

She began to scramble up but he stopped her.

“Rey... wait... now…” he panted, lips wet, eyes wild as he took her in, “are you sure?”

“Ben, I’ve been sure since that day that I read your letter.” She reached for him, fingers curling in his shirt front as she looked at him, heart in her eyes. Her body arched lightly towards his, her need stripping away any concerns that she might be too brazen.

“Ben, please... I…”

He didn’t make her beg, his lips slamming back into hers, hands framing her face as he devoured her like a man hungry for the taste of her. As though the thought triggered his own, he dragged his mouth from hers and hung over her, his fair falling shaggily around his face, eyes glittering as he fixed them on her.

“Rey, I still want to... do you?”

She nodded frantically, biting her lip, unable to put into words just how badly she did want what he’d painted a picture of on an innocuous piece of paper. 

...

In the end when he finally put his mouth on her, tasting every inch of her just like he’d written that he wanted to, Rey couldn’t keep from moaning aloud. With every swipe of his tongue lapping at her, with every touch of his lips as he mouthed at her she could feel herself begin to spiral higher and higher, the electric sensations running through her unlike anything she’d experienced in her life. When she finally broke, arching under him with a ragged cry, wet warmth flooding out from between her thighs, she was sure she blacked out for what seemed like an eternity. Coming back to herself it was to see Ben hovering over her, his hand smoothing back the hair from her sweaty brow, eyes concerned as he watched her gasp and pant. With a tremulous smile she lifted a hand and stroked his cheek, eyes holding his.

“Oh Ben...”

“Was that alright?” he asked, the silly man.

“You have to know that was more than alright,” she chuckled at him, panting lightly, before leaning up to kiss him, not even minding the strange taste of herself that still coated his lips and tongue. Before long, they were both sitting up, Rey straddling Ben as he clutched her close and kissed her as desperately as she did him. With impatient hands they tugged at each other's clothes before Ben dragged his lips away. 

“Wait— not like... not here.”

“Ben, I don’t care, please don’t make me wait!” She pulled him back to her with insistent hands and he could not resist her.

“At least let me— condom...” he gasped between kisses.

Nodding, she reluctantly let him go, willing to be parted just long enough for him to race over into the guest bedroom and come back out with a foil packet held between his lips as he pulled his shirt out of his pants, unbuttoning as he went. She started as he bared his broad, pale, beautiful body. Never having expected to see muscles rippling under the baggy shirts he tended to wear, Rey found her breath catching as she surveyed him. Then she was reaching for Ben and pushing his shirt off, tugging at his belt.

“Off, please off...” she insisted as she kissed him, her own hands letting go long enough to let Ben peel off her own shirt and undo her bra. She had to be patient while he cupped her in his hands, groaning against her skin and lapping at her, his mouth enveloping her at one go. Then, finally, finally they were both bare and pulling each other close, shuddering at the impact of a long-awaited contact. Panting, she let him lay her back on the couch, his touch tender even as his eyes were fevered. As he knelt between her legs, taking himself in hand and sheathing himself in the condom, Rey arched wantonly under him, moaning when he brushed against her opening with his length. When he finally sank into her, gathering her close, his movements small and restrained, she moaned at the feeling of completion. This time, her climax came even faster and harder, her sense heightened by the feel of Ben in her, around her, under her hands, his muscles tensing and his voice a guttural cry alongside hers.

When she regained the ability to breathe normally, her eyes fluttering open, Ben had gathered her close and rolled so that she was tucked between him and the back of the couch. Tipping her head back she looked up to see him watching her, eyes still a little wild, face flushed from their exertions, a satisfied smile on his lips.

A smile she couldn’t help returning as she reached up and pulled him close for a kiss. 

“Was that ok?” he asked, his hand soothing her back in long strokes. 

Eyes crinkling she gave in to a sudden impulse to be cheeky. “Oh, I don’t know, we might have to try that again to make sure.”

He blinked at her for a long moment before he began to shake, laughter breaking from him as he bent his forehead to hers, his long leg shifting to sling over hers.

“Whatever you say, Miss Rey.”

...

**Author's Note:**

> Big love to:
> 
> [Ferasha](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ferasha/pseuds/Ferasha)  
> for Ben's handwritten letter,
> 
> [Daga](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dagagada/pseuds/Dagagada) for the moodboard, &
> 
> [Nancy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nancylovesreylo/pseuds/nancylovesreylo) for the beta!


End file.
